Hey, Guys! Last night I was out with a few girlfriends having drinks at the Four Seasons. It's all decorated for the holidays and everyone was in a terrific mood. There were four of us and as usual, several men tried to buy our drinks and join us.
A pleasant but plain looking fellow bought a drink for my friend, Jennifer, and sat down. Now, we're used to this. A guy will buy a drink for one of us, sometimes a round for all of us, and think this is his ticket to sit and tell us how wonderful he is, what a hot shot banker or lawyer he is and what kind of BMW or Lexus he drives. Not Stan. Stan politely introduced himself to all of us and then asked Jennifer what she liked to do on her days off.
Well, Jennifer's passion is tennis. When she's not working on a modeling job, she's playing tennis and she's really very good. While most guys would ask about being a model, Stan didn't. To Jennifer modeling is work, just to pay the bills. Instead he asked her if she ever played in tournaments. Jen talked for an hour about some of the places she's traveled to for tournaments and about some of the people she met.
Stan sat and nodded occasionally. He'd smile when she got excited about something and sometimes ask another question. During that hour Stan probably didn't speak more than fifty words altogether while Jennifer jabbered away about tennis. He was polite to the rest of us but gave all his attention to her.
This morning after Stan had gone home, Jennifer called me to say what a great guy he was. Do you know she said he was one of the best conversationalists she'd ever met? This is the guy who hardly spoke at all.
Charles W. Elliot was once the president of Harvard. He gave a lecture on business once and said, "There is no mystery about successful business intercourse... Exclusive attention to the person who is speaking to you is very important. Nothing else is so flattering as that."
Stan has learned that listening isn't important only in business intercourse. It can improve your chances of success in other areas as well. Believe me, women love to talk. Be a good listener.
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